When you find yourself unhappy / out-of-control / not getting what you want, etc. maybe it isn't the situation, or even yourself; maybe it is just the WAY you are thinking - irrationally - like the thoughts below:
I (or the things I do) must be loved (accepted, approved of, etc.) by everyone who is important to me.
I must succeed in everything I do and be whatever the situation (other people) demands of me. I must never fail.
It is terrible (catastrophic, intolerable) when things are not going the way I want them to go.
Human unhappiness is externally caused and people have little or no ability to control their sorrows and disappointments or rid themselves of their negative feelings.
If something is (may be) dangerous or fear-producing, I should be very worried (upset, preoccupied) about it.
Things (I) have always been this way, so they (I) cannot be different.
I have to find a solution (alternative, way out, etc.) immediately or I won't be able to stand it.
If I get upset (angry, self-destructive, compliant, withdrawn, etc.) enough, something will surely change.
It is easier (better) to avoid facing life difficulties (responsibilities) than to undertake more rewarding forms of action.
Maximum happiness can be achieved by just letting things happen, doing as little as possible, and totally devoting myself to 'enjoyment'.
If I could just find the right person (job, solution, car, place, etc.), everything else would take care of itself and my life would be OK; or "if my bad luck would only change, that would 'fix' everything and my life would be OK."
The world is out to get me.
The world owes me a living (love, understanding, a chance, a break, etc.).
The world always must be (should be) fair.
I've got so many strikes against me now that nothing I do (say, think, feel, want, etc." is going to make any difference.
Some people are so bad (worthless, evil, unsympathetic, arrogant, etc.) that they should be severely punished (humiliated, killed, brutalized, etc.) for the kind of people they are.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Arrogance
There is no room for arrogance anywhere, anytime, about anything. There is no time either, especially for Gaia. Day to day it doesn't seem like much is happening, but it is, and the consumer society, of which I am entwined, is weakening us and the planet.
We know what the problem is, so enough said. Keep on keeping on, whatever you can.
Bird thoughts
Does one bird species know that another bird species is a bird or is the other species as different as a human is to them?
One thing I envy about birds, besides their ability to fly, is their freedom. Of course, there is alot to not envy them for - their shorter life span for example but being able to go almost anywhere anytime, limited only by your own power is enviable, don't you think? Do they know it?
The myth is that someday they will acknowledge our concern for them. The myth is that someday we will acknowledge their concern for us.
Entry for January 27, 2007
"For God so loved the world . . ." Heck with 'Him'! - For I so loved the world, I give . . . myself!
Even if it makes you live in fear you still have to do what is right.
"...We can't always be talking about what's wrong - that just creates despair,"
Total love does NOT mean surrending your identity but survival does not depend on staying resolutely separate.
We can't really predict the future, we can only invent it.
All people are redeemable.
Tolerate change; accept that you don't always feel positive; communicate honestly.
Life is just one damn thing after another.
Time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment.
Treat each other with decenty and respect - everyone gains from the experience.
Approach life as an explorer - "seek out" new experiences with intelligence, curiosity, and imagination; "boldy go" on your continuing mission.
When you're in the captains chair, be the captain.
People's actions are always appropriate given the way the world appears to them.
You can find something you like in everyone.
Living a good life is its own reward.
Change in life: - much of it is good but make sure YOU pick; - keep the parts of yourself you enjoy and never let anyone take them away; - write a new subroutine (like Data).
Listen to your principles; they are your guide to your inner feelings when your intuition is confuse. When you stick to your principles you will most often find that what you thought you wanted would hot have been good for you. Your principles help keep you integrated. DC
We do not live to extenuate the miseries of the past, nor to accept as incurable those of the present - Fairfield Osborne
I apologize to the authors for not jotting down their names beside my favorite quotes.
Planner template - part 2 of 2 or 3 - two-week planner
Planner placement in your home
-adjacent to your phone
-in a high traffic area where you walk by and glance all the time
-on a counter high enough so you don’t have to hunch over to write
-adjacent to larger / longer calendars
-adjacent to other reference papers
You will also need
-a standard ‘free’ twelve-month calendar
-for appointments booked months in advance
-for birthdays
-transfer these every once in a while to your planner
-a ‘write-on wipe-off’ calendar
-for appointments where you have to be somewhere at a certain time
-days where there is / isn’t all day events like ‘no school’
-for other family members to be aware of what’s happening or to jot down their appointments
-mine consists of four horizontal magnetic pieces on my fridge. one piece is for each week. When the week is over, that piece gets wiped and moved to the bottom of the stack.
-a ‘magazine’ box tipped on its side to hold file folders for
-schedules of extra-curricular venues and activities
-school reference information
-cheque book
-current short-term stuff you don’t want to lose but isn’t going to become a regular part of your life
-a few envelopes
-scrap paper to jot things down on when you are on the phone
-a tear-off note pad for lists of things you need when on your errands
-a phone book
-a phone list of currently used and emergency numbers
Things you DON’T need in your planning centre:
-storage for stuff to be filed: Dealing with incoming and outgoing papers:
When physical stuff comes into your house – sort it on your kitchen table, then;
-take the stuff you’re keeping to your offce
-put the stuff that needs action on top of your planner so it’s in your face until you deal with it.
-if it is going out of your house as soon as you deal with it – leave it on your planner until you either give it to your family member to deliver, like school forms, or you deal with it yourself (if you have an ‘outbox’ by the door you usually use AND you are all in the habit of checking it before you leave, all the better)
-if it’s going out at a later date or with an appointment more than two weeks away – you may put it in a ‘holding’ file folder in the magazine box
-put it in the recycle
the 'up' page of the planner is in the next blog
Planner - part 3 the end, two-week with longer
The ‘up’ page of the two-week planner
This page shows the two weeks in relation to your life.
The bottom line has a place for your ‘roles’ – you know, that ‘seven roles’ thing that came out as part of Microsoft software several years ago? You know, it was related to that “Seven Roles of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey. You identify your roles in life – seven is a good number – and set goals for each role. See: http://attitudeadjustment.tripod.com/Books/7-Habits.htm .
Listing your roles reminds you what you are doing with your life, helps you set goals, and maintains and develops your character. My roles are: Personal – Inside which reminds me to take care of my mental health; Mother – Biz which reminds me I am a valuable manager of my children’s lives; Business Manager which reminds me I am taking care of money matters; Property Manager which reminds me I am keeping a well-maintained house for us to live in; Mother – Personal which reminds me I am important as a person to my children; Personal – Outside which reminds me I am important to my friends and other family; and Humano-Gaian which reminds me that all physical life depends on Gaia, The Earth.
Above the Role Line to the left is a place for you to write what you have recently accomplished – ‘Past’; what you are focussing on right now – ‘Present’; and what you will be focussing on in the near future – ‘Future’.
The two-weeks covered in the ‘down’ page (featured in the part 1 blog) are placed somewhere in the two months featured on this page.
Take a pen and circle the two weeks you are currently in. What is nice about this is that you can see how one month flows into another.
Above the second month are two lines for you to outline your THEMES for this time period. Themes are goals with character.
To the right is a vertical representation of the months you are currently experiencing – also laid out in a manner that shows you the flow of time.
You can jot down highlights and important events on the two months or the six months.
At the top centre are the words “Soul, Spirit, Mind, Emotions, Body” to remind you of the five aspects of life that contribute to your well-being and that of your family. You may have different life aspects, of course.
By combining your seven roles, the five aspects of life, and the three time frames of past/ present/future you can develop and clarify your goals; and this two-week planner can help you incorporate them into your whole time on earth. The visual connections displayed in this planner, a day, a week, two weeks, two months, and six months, help me connect what I need / want / am doing right now to what I have accomplished, where I’m “at”, where I’m going, and with whom. The visual layout and the physical existence of a binder act as symbols to my brain which help me connect the things I am doing to ‘me’.
Personally, a digital calendar didn’t work for me. I needed something concrete, just as I need my books to be physical books with spatial orientation of events in the story. I don’t think it is good to compartmentalize to the point of having every minute accounted for or layed out for you by you or anyone else. I know that is how ‘productivity’ works, but it doesn’t work that way for me.
I wish you well.
PS. When digital things come into my house, such as emails with dates, I jot the dates on a piece of paper, take it to my three calendars (fridge magnet, two-week planner, 12 month) and write them on each as needed. If I worked, I would probably use the digital calendars provided at work but they would all end up in a hard copy day planner. I would also probably have a day planner for ‘during’ the day at work and my two-week planner at home.
PPS. The Mr. Covey way of looking at things involving “urgent, not urgent, important, and not important” is probably great for people who are really really busy but I find it less stressful to keep those labels intuitively in my consideration.
-----
Anew (by me)
Anew
When one more goes,
you may find yourself
to be the last one.
There are none that knew you then,
not even yourself,
sometime.
The Coleman lantern,
mantle burning brighter than any city moon,
its hissing filling out the dark spaces;
potatoes boiling on the wood stove,
roils of water and cinders crackling,
filling in the worried places;
cribbage or Scrabble in the dim,
chatter of simply the game,
and farther memories;
All, regardless of the era,
keeping alive what was truly needed -
what was truly good;
Food, family, warmth, shared times.
Paisley bush jacket?
No! Of course not. It was plaid (or
had it been just plain green or brown?);
laid away, with others, in the city basement
in the closet under the stairs
for many many years.
Strong, infused with grace, enduring,
and confidentially wise to its pricelessness;
until its fibers, weighted with waiting,
dissolved into the universe,
somehow;
She was a keepsafe
of memories, wanted and unwanted,
of ourselves and our others, and yet more;
Some one that may have known me then.
May I recall this strength and grace
to do the same, in hers and others' names,
someday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)